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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Toothpick
Toothpicks
Redneck
Wedding
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Pictures
Might
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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