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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Toothpick
Toothpicks
Redneck
Wedding
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Might

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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