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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Toothpick
Toothpicks
Redneck
Wedding
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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There's no down time any more.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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