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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Toothpick
Toothpicks
Redneck
Wedding
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
Jeff Foxworthy
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Jeff Foxworthy
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy