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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Hunting
Dress
Dresses
Best
Might
Tore
Momma
Redneck

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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