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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Dresses
Best
Might
Tore
Momma
Redneck
Hunting
Dress

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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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