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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Best
Might
Tore
Momma
Redneck
Hunting
Dress
Dresses
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy