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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Effort
Might
Lite
Spam
Cholesterol
Redneck
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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