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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Watch
Effort
Might
Lite
Spam
Cholesterol
Redneck
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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