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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Watches
Watch
Effort
Might
Lite
Spam
Cholesterol
Redneck

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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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