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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Lite
Spam
Cholesterol
Redneck
Watches
Watch
Effort
Might

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy