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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tupperware
Haircut
Haircuts
Redneck
Party
Might

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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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