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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Tupperware
Haircut
Haircuts
Redneck
Party

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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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