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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Personalized
Made
Redneck
Plate
Plates
License
Dad
Prison
Consider

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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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