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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Redneck
Fired
Construction
Appearance
Jobs

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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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