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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Construction
Appearance
Jobs
Might
Redneck
Fired

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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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