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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Fired
Construction
Appearance
Jobs
Might

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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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There's no down time any more.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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