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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Fired
Construction
Appearance
Jobs
Might
Redneck

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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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