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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Card
Hole
Holes
Cards
Freebie
House
Punched
Might
Tattoos
Need
Redneck
Needs
Tattoo

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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