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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Take
Redneck
Fairs
Fair
Biggest
Wear
Fashion
Risk
Might
Plaid
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Jeff Foxworthy
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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