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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Mom
Gift
Might
Need
Redneck
Needs
Shopping
Girlfriend
Sister
Christmas
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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There's no down time any more.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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