Quote

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Mom
Gift
Might
Need
Redneck
Needs
Shopping
Girlfriend
Sister
Christmas

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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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