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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sheets
Truck
Hanging
Rack
Gun
Racks
Might
Sheet
Redneck
Closet
Closets

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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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