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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Quarters
Clothes
Three
Might
Logos

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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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