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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Logos
Redneck
Quarters
Clothes
Three
Might

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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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