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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Pull
Tricks
Fingers
Executes
Completely
Reunion
Family
Redneck
Might
Finger
Trick
Grandfather
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
