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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Grandfather
Pull
Tricks
Fingers
Executes
Completely
Reunion
Family
Redneck
Might
Finger
Trick

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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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