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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Johnny
Elvis
Redneck
Cash
Picture
Fireplace
Might
Fireplaces
Willie
Nelson
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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