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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Johnny
Elvis
Redneck
Cash
Picture
Fireplace
Might
Fireplaces
Willie
Nelson

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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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