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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Tobacco
Aren
Family
Might
Men
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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