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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Onions
Redneck
Items
Considering
Grow
Grows
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Gourmet
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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