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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Items
Considering
Grow
Grows
Rather
Gourmet
Might
Item
Onions
Redneck

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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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