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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Grows
Rather
Gourmet
Might
Item
Onions
Redneck
Items
Considering
Grow

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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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