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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Momma
Kennedy
Redneck
Center
Rather
Might
Would
Racetrack
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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