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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Bathtub
Bathtubs
Redneck
Rings
Number
Numbers
Age
Tell
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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