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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Rings
Number
Numbers
Age
Tell
Might
Bathtub
Bathtubs
Redneck
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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