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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Bathtub
Bathtubs
Redneck
Rings
Number
Numbers
Age
Tell
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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