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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Drinking
Gets
Start
Light
Lite
Might
Drinker
Drinkers
Redneck
Beer
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Jeff Foxworthy
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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