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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Beer
Drinking
Gets
Start
Light
Lite
Might
Drinker
Drinkers
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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