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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Drinker
Drinkers
Redneck
Beer
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Start
Light
Lite
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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