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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Light
Lite
Might
Drinker
Drinkers
Redneck
Beer
Drinking
Gets
Start

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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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