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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Fewer
Grown
Full
Ostrich
Might
Ostriches
Redneck
Cowboy
Feathers
Hats

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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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