Quote

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Cowboy
Feathers
Hats
Fewer
Grown
Full
Ostrich
Might
Ostriches

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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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