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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Littles
Little
Decorating
Might
Prairie
Tips
Redneck
Watches
Watch
House

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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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