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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Watches
Watch
House
Littles
Little
Decorating
Might
Prairie
Tips
Redneck

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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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