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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tips
Redneck
Watches
Watch
House
Littles
Little
Decorating
Might
Prairie
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
