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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Doubles
Sleeve
Sleeves
Redneck
Shirt
Shirts
Handkerchief
Might
Handkerchiefs

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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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