Quote

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Handkerchief
Handkerchiefs
Doubles
Sleeve
Sleeves
Redneck
Shirt
Shirts

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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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