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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Shirts
Might
Handkerchief
Handkerchiefs
Doubles
Sleeve
Sleeves
Redneck
Shirt

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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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