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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Show
Shows
Might
Think
Offs
Thinking
Announcements
People
Redneck
Graduation
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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There's no down time any more.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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