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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Thinking
Announcements
People
Redneck
Graduation
Send
Show
Shows
Might
Think
Offs

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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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