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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Offs
Think
Announcements
Thinking
Redneck
People
Graduation
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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