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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Redneck
Payment
Delay
Dishes
Buying
Delays
Clothes
Satellite
Kids
Satellites
School
Dish
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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