Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Redneck
Payment
Delay
Dishes
Buying
Delays
Clothes
Satellite
Kids
Satellites
School
Dish
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Jeff Foxworthy
I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
