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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Heels
Expensive
Shoes
Numbers
Might
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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