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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Heels
Expensive
Shoes
Numbers
Might
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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