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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Heels
Expensive
Shoes
Numbers
Might

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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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