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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Purses
Redneck
Keeps
Wife
Might
Vienna
Sausage
Purse

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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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