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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Vienna
Sausage
Purse
Purses
Redneck
Keeps
Wife
Might

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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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