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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Taking
Water
Might
Nothing
Dip

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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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