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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Dip
Redneck
Taking
Water
Might
Nothing

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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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