Quote

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Dip
Redneck
Taking
Water
Might
Nothing

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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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