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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Nothing
Dip
Redneck
Taking
Water

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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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There's no down time any more.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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