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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Ten
Dog
Might
Pending
Lawsuits
Lawsuit
Redneck
Currently

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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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