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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Lawsuit
Redneck
Currently
Ten
Dog
Might
Pending
Lawsuits

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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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