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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sink
Kitchen
Use
Might
Radiator
Hose
Redneck

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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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There's no down time any more.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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